According to a recent statistic, a quarter of Americans have not had a single se**al relationship in the last year.
There is a lot of talk about se**al freedom, but how much making love do we really have? In America, according to a 2021 survey by the General Social Survey, a quarter of respondents said they had not had s*x in the last year. The journalist and writer, Magdalene J. Taylor, author of an article published in the New York Times that is making the rounds on the web entitled ” Have more love make, please!” she traced loneliness, triggered by the pandemic, as the main reason behind this lack of love making, as the author explains, in fact stable relationships and cohabitations have also decreased significantly, less time is spent with friends and lovers and it is not of distinct problems, but they are all symptoms of the same cultural malaise, “an isolation – he writes – which is demolishing the social life, love life and happiness of Americans. Estimates vary, but between one-third and two-thirds of Americans say they are alone”. According to psychotherapist and s**ologist Maria Claudia Biscione, there is indeed a very wide gap between s*xual freedom and s*xual desire. ” It is an issue that is also being traced today many sociologists – he explains to Fanpage.it – There is an abyss of desire, a decline, which goes hand in hand with the state of global crisis we are going through” . S*xuality is a mirror of how we are and our current state of precariousness (work , social, climatic) which gives rise to stress, anxiety, which complicates the emotionality can not fail to reverberate on sex as well.
Love making and Narcissism
Another consequence of isolation is the tendency to satisfy one’s se**al needs alone. Why bother looking for a partner, building a relationship when there is OnlyFans or P**nH*b? ” Sponsoring se**ality gives rise to two problems: on the one hand, we see bodies and performances that become unattainable models, generating a feeling of frustration. On the other, it is the cause of a disinvestment in eroticism – explains Biscione – We could define it as a sort of narcissistic drift. Little is invested in eroticism within the relationship and much instead in one’s own satisfaction alone, giving rise to a very individualistic dynamic of se**ality”. The other issue concerns the very low percentage of stable relationships and cohabitations. Everything is consumed in a few moments, the time for a match on Tinder, intimate photos are sent to immediately clarify which direction is or that you are not looking for a stable relationship and that there is no desire to invest time, feelings or emotions. A bit like when we find the words “Refrain from time wasters” in advertisements for houses for rent. ” If within the couple there is the problem of disinvestment in eroticism, on the other hand, for singles, there is the difficulty of finding partners with whom to live a fulfilling se**ality precisely because courtship is very constipated and cold Se**ality feeds on knowledge, desirability, seduction, fantasy, play disposable dimension that at a certain point can only generate dissatisfaction”. A relationship, even if you are not looking for and do not want love, is certainly more stimulating and satisfying than a se**al relationship for its own sake. “The relational experience becomes more gratifying because it is more intimate. Greater availability towards the body and the person in front of us will also make intercourse more satisfying. The more you stay on the surface, the less curious and involved you are and the more disappointing the se**al experience will become and this will defuse the desire and desire to making love.”
The benefits of love making and what happens if we don’t
Making love is good for you, and that’s a scientifically proven fact. ” Se**al activity involves a significant production of endorphins and oxytocin, two fundamental hormones linked to the improvement of mood and well-being” explains Biscione. And the higher our mood, the greater our predisposition towards each other, we will feel more empathetic, more positive. ” Physical and emotional enjoyment make us more willing and within the couple this creates a virtuous circle: the more you making love, the more you want to do it and to experiment, the desire increases, the fantasies are enriched. And this is an element which helps to create greater intimacy and the desire to get involved both inside and outside the bedroom”. However, the benefits are also there for those who are not in a stable relationship. ” The attitude, the desire to experience bodily and intimate gratification leads us to be more effective in seduction, to enter into a relationship with the other even just to try to obtain a se**al response. Investing in eroticism activates us and makes us more capable and competent”. Having little s*x, or not having it at all, impoverishes us and certainly doesn’t help our mood. “The damages of lack of love making are many stress increases, sadness increases, precisely because there is no stimulation of the hormones of well-being. And the physiological consequences are now accredited: the immune system weakens, vaginal dryness increases with consequent pain during intercourse (especially for women in menopause), the risk of prostate cancer and cardiovascular disease increases. The less we make love the more the libido is reduced and the more the libido is reduced the more we feel depressed, sad, inadequate and incompetent”. Having se*, as Taylor says in his article, therefore becomes a political act, a way out of isolation and start to tighten social relationships that we think we can do without, but it is not so, for this reason”Have more se* , please! “.