None of us are perfect and we all have something we would like to improve about ourselves, but loving yourself for who you are can be complicated. Discover how to learn to accept yourself.
Each of us has strengths and weaknesses, they are part of our being, our personality and identity. Recognizing and accepting the positive aspects of ourselves is easy and is within everyone’s reach, for the vast majority. However, accepting our defects and loving ourselves despite the negative aspects that belong to us can become a challenge for many people or a real discomfort.
What does it mean to accept yourself ?
Some people are able to accept their flaws, while others fixate on them and become their own worst critics. So, what exactly does it mean to accept yourself ?
- Being able to recognize what you are and what you are or are not good at doing.
- Being aware of the parts that build your being, positive and negative, and being happy with who you are.
- Accept our values , preferences, resources and feelings, intuitions and actions from both our past and our present.
- Recognize your strengths without being overly vain about them.
- Learn to recognize your weaknesses without blaming yourself with an excessively negative attitude towards yourself.
- Have a positive attitude towards yourself without feeling the need for constant approval from others.
- Being able to love yourself and respect yourself despite your flaws.
The thin thread between self-esteem and self-acceptance
In psychology, the concept of self-acceptance may be a less popular research topic than self esteem or self-confidence, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less important.
Self-esteem is at the core of ourselves: our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are intimately linked to how we view our dignity and worth as human beings.
What is self-esteem theory ?
Self-esteem theory holds that an individual’s main priority in life is to find self-acceptance and that this is often achieved through achievements along the way. In turn, fulfillment is often achieved through competition with others. Therefore, the logical conclusion is that competing with others can help us feel that we have achieved better results by making us feel more proud of ourselves and thus improving self-acceptance.
While this theory represents a good understanding of self-esteem as we tend to experience it, it is unfortunate that we place so much emphasis on our accomplishments. Aside from competition and “winning” against others, there are many factors that can contribute to our sense of self-worth.
The importance of self-love
Self-love involves appreciation and respect for oneself. This includes taking care of your own physical and mental health. Even today it is difficult to dedicate time to yourself, among the many commitments, it is important to take time to nourish yourself and treat yourself with love and kindness. According to the American Psychological Association, self-love is having regard for your own well-being and satisfaction.
If we consider that the first relationship is with oneself, loving oneself is of fundamental importance and is the basis of relationships with others. Loving yourself allows you to live in line with your values and make healthy choices in daily decisions. There trust ,Self-respect, self-esteem and self-love are all closely connected to each other. As we deepen our love for ourselves, we can, in turn, deepen the love we share with others.
How to learn to accept yourself ?
Below are some strategies that can help you learn to accept yourself
1. Embracing your values:
It is important to identify, articulate and embrace your personal values and beliefs. Thinking and acting in line with your values can help strengthen your sense of identity , improve self-respect and facilitate self-acceptance.
2. Establish healthy boundaries:
You may find that you need boundaries in various aspects of your life, such as work, relationships, time, and finances. Set limits and stick to them. Don’t let others violate your boundaries or take them for granted. This can help prevent mistreatment, which may be difficult to accept on a subconscious level.
3. Forgive yourself:
If you have made a mistake, acknowledge it and learn from it, but don’t beat yourself up repeatedly. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
4. Avoid self-blame:
Recognize that you are not the cause of every negative situation you encounter. Try to be objective and evaluate other factors that may have played a role in the circumstances.
5. Don’t compare yourself to others:
Try to be a better version of your former self, instead of comparing yourself to others.
6. Focus on positivity:
Strive to see the positive in every situation. Instead of focusing on what you did wrong, try to identify at least one thing you did right. If you have a negative thought about yourself, change it and replace it with a positive one.
7. Write a diary:
Keep a diary in which you write down your strengths and achievements, but also your weaknesses and disappointments. If you’re having trouble accepting something , it can be helpful to write down your thoughts about the situation and what you could have done differently. This can help you make changes in the future and act more in line with your values.
8. Try loving-kindness meditation:
It’s a form of meditation that can help you develop positivity, compassion, and equanimity. It involves thinking positive thoughts for yourself, appreciating yourself as you are, and saying affirmations out loud.
9. Go to therapy:
It can be helpful contact a mental health professional if you believe that a lack of self-acceptance disturbs your serenity, causes symptoms of anxiety or depression, interfere with your ability to eat or sleep, affect your work, or harm your relationships.
Finally, self-acceptance can help you be happy and calm and lead to a sense of well-being. On the other hand, a lack of self-acceptance and a negative view of oneself can cause low self-confidence and a greater risk of conditions such as depression and anxiety.