Although not everything in bed is a matter of time, avoiding premature ejaculation and knowing how to control that moment can help you have better relationships. Here we’ll discuss techniques and positions to delay ejaculation.
As we will see now, it is true that in matters of sex, quality is always better than duration. But let’s not fool ourselves, on many occasions knowing how to control ejaculation is also synonymous with more pleasurable sex for you and your partner. And it is not necessary to have premature ejaculation to want to control the times.
The secret to lasting longer in bed when we have sex is not a magic formula, but there are some tricks that can help us a lot. Knowing how to control ejaculation and hold it long enough for the sessions in bed (or wherever you feel like it) to be satisfactory is one of the goals of many in their odyssey to discover how to be better lover but it is not always easy.
How long should sex last ‘Must’ is not the correct verb, among other things because time does not pass in the same way when we are at work (where everything is much more intense and the minutes seem like hours) than doing any other activity such as buying bread. On the other hand, perhaps the rule that ” size does not matter” could be applied, but in relation to the duration of a sexual relationship it is not the quantity, but the quality. Now, nobody wants to reach the finish line two seconds after the starting gun. And that is where we are going to try to help what we can and solve those doubts that feed your insecurities every time you unzip your pants.
How long is the ‘normal’ duration of sex?
As much as we yearn to find answers to everything in this life, it is not that simple. In sex it is not about lasting more or less, it is about trying to control to decide for ourselves how long we want it to last based on our needs or our partner at that moment. That being said, of course there is data. We are going to share them with you so that they serve as a reference, but not an obsession.
Experts suggest that more than half an hour is excessive, between 1 and 2 minutes is short, between 3 and 7 is average, and between 7 and 13 is desirable. On the other hand, according to research for which 500 couples were consulted about their sexual habits and preferences, the average duration of sex is ideally 5.4 minutes. Without counting the preliminaries.
In the end, everything is a matter of taste and communication between whoever is in bed. Some love the marathon and others are served in less time, it all depends on when one is satisfied, the moment, the desire and the time that one wants or can dedicate. In any of the cases, having control of the “endurance” is always positive to be able to manage oneself.
The best tricks to last longer in bed
As we said before, the important thing is not to last more or less in bed, but to have a little control over it. Train the body so that ejaculating is as far as possible a decision and not an accident.
To do this, we are going to review some of the best and most common tricks to last longer in bed. Try them and find the one that works best for you, because every person’s physic is different.
1. Masturbation as training (or prior)
The male orgasm is made up of two phases, an initial one in which the semen is loaded into the urethra, and a second phase that consists of the ejaculation itself. So masturbation will be your big ally in two ways. On the one hand, you can use it as a personal training.
Practice it until you reach the limit of the moment of ejaculation, but without reaching it. Experiencing this sensation will help you get to know yourself better and be able to gradually increase control and transition from the first phase to the second. On the other hand, think about it strategically: if you know that you have a date tonight with a high chance of ending up in bed, masturbate just before so you don’t get there so eagerly. Having ejaculated, many men are able to hold out longer for a second time.
2. Use a condom (if possible use thick)
Condoms can also be a good answer to your prayers, as they act as a protective barrier that also reduces penile sensitivity. Sure, this is a chore for those who want to feel the full intensity of intercourse, but if ejaculating too quickly is your problem, you’re going to want to reconsider your priorities.
But it’s not just about using a condom, something you probably do regularly. There are tricks such as looking for specific types of condoms to last longer in bed. You would be surprised at the wonders that have been invented and marketed to resolve sexual issues. It’s a good idea to go for a thick condom to reduce that sensitivity, something that will also reduce pleasure but will probably make you last longer.
3. Focus on giving pleasure
Another good idea is to think more about your partner than about yourself. Perhaps you’ve been worrying too much about how to last longer in bed once penetrative sex begins and not enough about the experience of the person in bed with you. One way to lengthen the duration and the pleasure is to delay penetration with some good foreplay (a sign of every good lover) and also focusing on giving your partner pleasure rather than receiving it.
Let’s put a situation, you are in bed and you notice that you are coming. You must learn to identify that feeling as soon as possible and muster the strength to stop. At that moment, one solution is to stop the penetration and focus on other tasks like you can start oral or divert your mind Whatever until you have more control of the situation and can continue. It is important that you discuss it with your partner, who will surely understand it perfectly.
4. Take advantage of the refractory period
The refractory period is the time that elapses from when you ejaculate to a new erection.That is, when you have had sex once and you want to do it again on the same night. How long does it take to get back on track? That is the refractory period, and it is the best time to last longer in bed. Of course, that time depends on many factors, from age to the physical and mental state of the person, so this solution will only work for some.
The thing is maybe you came too soon in the first round, but if your partner is up for it (it’s better if you let her know beforehand), you can practice penetrating a second time and this time it should last longer than the previous one.It is not ideal if you are looking to get it the first time, but it is not a bad option depending on the situation.
5. Incorporate toys
In sex, the most important thing is to be generous with your partner and also to be daring to try new things. If you know that you tend to be short-lived once penetration begins, find other ways that sex can be an amazing, long-lasting experience. First we recommended the preliminaries, and now we introduce another idea like sex toys.
Vibrators are a great tool for both women and men and they’re perfect for that moment when you think you’re going to come off and you don’t want the party to end, especially if your partner hasn’t orgasmed yet. She opens the drawer and takes out a good little toy to help her with everything she needs. So you have time to relax and she is not there waiting for you looking at the clock.
Another great ally penis rings. They are effective because they restrict blood flow, which makes the erection hard and can delay ejaculation.
6. Kegel exercises
Although these types of exercises tend to be more frequently associated with women, men can also obtain great benefits from practicing them. Exercising the pelvic floor helps to enjoy a healthy and pleasant sexual life, since it is estimated that men who perform this type of practice can make their sexual relations last up to 4 times longer than usual.
7. The power of the mind
The most powerful sexual organ is the brain. During sexual intercourse, our mind is fully focused on pleasure, so we are constantly thinking about everything that is happening during the sexual encounter if your partner is enjoying it, if you are enjoying it, or where each one is in relation to orgasm (if you or your partner is close to reaching it, etc.).
In this sense, it is important to learn to face the moment while maintaining a state of concentration, awareness and full enjoyment, previously working and learning relaxation exercises that will prevent anxiety or worry from appearing. In this way, we will not prematurely activate the Sympathetic Nervous System, which is responsible for ejaculation.
The best sexual positions to last longer in bed
Some positions are especially useful to last longer in bed. Each position produces a level of arousal in each member of the couple due to the number of nerve endings that are stimulated. In the case of men, for example, those positions in which they do not have a “dominant” position (for example, the woman is on top) allow the man to focus his attention on the physical sensations caused by penetration and thus be able to better control the moment of ejaculation.Therefore, a trick to prolong sexual intercourse is to vary the sexual positions that are practiced, as well as changing rhythms and intensities.
The Amazon is a great sexual position to delay ejaculation. In this position the woman sits on top and controls the movement with the man lying on his back.
There are many variations of this position you can also do it sitting facing each other to make it more intimate, or you can even give it a twist and do the Amazon inverted, with the woman looking the other way. Another position that helps a lot is that of the spoon, which is done with the same position that many couples use to sleep stretched out on the bed in a fetal position, she is in front of her and he is behind her from behind.