What are the psychological motivations behind cheating? This is why people cheat and why even happy couples cheat.
When you discover a betrayal you are overwhelmed by an emotional tsunami: shock, disbelief, anger, a sense of emptiness and bewilderment are just some of the emotions you feel when you discover that your partner has had an adventure or a parallel relationship. But why is he/she cheating? And why do people cheat even when they are happy in the relationship?
It’s an event that destabilizes deeply: one feels lost, disoriented, someone can feel guilty, others can feel hurt and destroyed in their self-esteem. And as a common denominator there is always that the betrayed people cannot understand why the other needed – or could not resist – the call of the arms of another (or another). And so the question that always comes up is “Why do you cheat?”
Why do you cheat? Here are the psychological motivations behind the betrayal
Why cheat :
The reasons are different, each couple has its own story and balance and the reasons that lead one of the two to betray are also different. Let’s say that some reasons essentially concern the couple: in this case, the betrayal is a bit the tip of the iceberg of something that no longer works. Let’s see some examples:
- Couple problems: it seems obvious but when it comes to betrayal an important aspect to consider is the quality of the relationship. When the emotional or sexual life within the couple is unsatisfactory or neglected, the temptation to seek satisfaction elsewhere increases and betrayal often becomes a way – certainly clumsy – to open a crisis in the couple and somehow put it back at the center or to break the bond permanently.
- Revenge or Retribution . In some situations, a person may cheat as an act of revenge or punishment against their partner, in response to an offense or lapse on the other’s part, or to make up for a previous betrayal.
- Lack of communication . Inadequate communication or a lack of openness and dialogue in the couple can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations that can push a person towards betrayal.
Why do people cheat?
In addition to the aspects that mainly concern the couple, there are other reasons that lead a person to betray, they could concern more one of the partners than a couple problem: this is a bit the case when couples – apparently happy – are overwhelmed by betrayal.
- Certain personality traits or disorders . There are people who, due to character traits, have a greater tendency to betray: for example, people with narcissistic personality traits/disorder are more prone to betrayal than others.
- The attachment style. Attachment style relates to how an individual deals with meaningful relationships. For example, people with an insecure attachment style may be more prone to cheating to satisfy a need for affection and emotional security.
- Need for validation or self-esteem . Some people may seek validation or reassurance about their attractiveness or desirability through betrayal, seeking another person’s attention or approval.
- Personal problems or individual dissatisfaction . Personal difficulties such as insecurities, depression, stress or the desire to experience a new phase of life can influence a person’s behavior, leading them to cheat.
Obviously these reasons don’t justify cheating , but they can provide an explanation as to why some people might make this decision. Open communication, mutual trust, and ongoing relationship work are key to preventing cheating and dealing with challenges that may arise within a couple.