Not sure about the feelings you have for the person you are dating? Here’s exactly how to find out if you’re falling in love.
Have you been in a relationship for some time now, do you like each other, have fun but can’t quite understand how you feel about the other person? Understanding if you are in love is not an easy thing at all.
In love, in fact, there are no strict rules, precise timing or a checklist, some people know they are in love after just one moment, others develop the feelings after months or even years of small gestures.
That said, though, there are some common signs that you’re probably falling in love…and we’re not talking about those all-encompassing “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep” feelings.
How to tell if you’re in love, all the signs to keep an eye on
You want to tell the other person everything
Falling in love is different for everyone. But Robert J. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love identifies three main aspects: intimacy (the desire to feel closely connected), passion (physical and emotional stimulation), and decision/commitment (the determination to stick together).
That said, the most telling sign of whether you’re in love is if you find yourself wanting to share as much as possible with your love interest, from a small victory at work to family problems.
It is always in your thoughts
Sure, it might be corny, but it’s true. You know you are falling in love when your partner starts occupying all your thoughts. You may find yourself reminiscing about your conversations in the middle of the work hours, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even imagining your future together. Likewise, when we fall in love, we tend to feel warm. This could mean, for example, that you can’t stop smiling when you think about your partner
You’re dying to know if your feelings are reciprocated
Does he/she love me or does he/she not love me? If you find yourself constantly wondering if your date has the same feelings for you , then this is another sign that yes, you are in love.
It makes you feel good about yourself
People struggling with falling in love often report feeling better about themselves, as if they knew more or could do more.
A “self-expansion” experience often occurs when people fall in love, meaning that their sense of self grows through their relationship with this new person. For example, someone whose partner enjoys hiking might start to consider themselves a hiker as well.
Friends point out that you talk of nothing else
The closest friends are often able to see things that we ourselves do not see. For example, if you keep talking about your partner or keep inviting them to dinner parties, it’s likely that others have already figured out that you’re falling in love. And while friends will surely understand the situation, it’s still important not to forget to seek a new balance.
That person becomes your priority
To understand if you’re in love, just ask yourself a question have your priorities changed since you started dating? If you are rearranging, redefining or reinventing your life, then you may be falling in love.
Equally apparent is when making changes to your calendar to ensure you’re available to spend time together isn’t a sacrifice at all. On the contrary.
You desire his/her presence
Yes, just like a dessert or a slice of cake. This happens because the area of our brain associated with focus and desire (called the ventral tegmental area) causes the release of increased levels of dopamine when we are in love.
You find even his quirks attractive
To understand if yes, you are in love, try to think what you like about your partner. If the answer is everything then your heart beats only for that person.
You will begin to find everything irresistible that includes even the little quirks, the weird sense of style, or the particular way he/she does things.
Ignore other attractive people
Gone are the days of constantly opening dating apps if you find that you’re not that inclined to investigate those other fish in the sea, then that’s another sign that you’re falling in love.
You are more sociable
Do you suddenly find yourself enjoying a chat with your less than nice colleague or striking up conversations with your grumpy neighbor.?
Falling in love can make us lose autopilot and allow us to see everything and everyone in a new light . Love can contribute to a greater sense of well-being and lead to a positive outlook, which can extend far beyond the person you’re dating.
Friends tell you that you are freaking out
Do you replay your conversations in your mind, analyzing messages, mulling over what to wear on your next date? We’ve all been there. Changes in stress or anxiety may correspond to the early stages of falling in love.
While exhilarating, the newness of a relationship, the uncertainty, and the intense experience of new love can cause stress, as indicated by cortisol levels.
Whoever first coined the saying “two become one” wasn’t kidding: when two people in a romantic relationship get to know each other, their perceptions of themselves begin to merge.
Because of this self-other overlap, people see themselves as more like their partner and may confuse their characteristics with those of the other person to the point where you might even start dressing or talking like him.
You see a future together
You might notice that it doesn’t seem strange to book flights together to that overseas wedding in six months or even start talking about where you’ll spend your next vacation. This is also a signal that helps to understand if you are in love.
Everything just feels right to you
The most important sign that you’re falling in love? Everything seems right to you. Part of that is because one of the characteristics of being in love is this feeling of rightness and certainty and the absence of doubt. Because of this, you might start to notice that you no longer care if he/she sees you after a ghost gym session or even consider the possibility that he/she might get scared by your weirdness.
When we fall in love, the parts of the brain responsible for social judgment and critical thinking go into slower operation, and thus lack the questioning and self-evaluation we might have under alternate circumstances.